When we are children and we fall down, skinning our knees, our parents tell us that every thing will be ok. They clean the wound an send us on our way. We get a bit older and some one picks on us. Our parents jump to our defense, stomping any one in the way. They say you are great as you are and send us on our way. Then one day we are preparing for adult hood and see that some one else is far advanced. Our parents sit down with us and tell us that it is our turn to grow and advance. They can no longer pick us up and brush us off, tell us how every thing will work out and send us on our way. We learn to depend on our selves.
  Some of us decide to become parents... always hoping to be better and more supportive than our own were. We do the same parent things that our parents did only to realize that just maybe they did the best they could. Maybe it will be fine as long as we do our best. Maybe they were right about a few things after all. As my children grow and move away a wish i was a better friend to them. Then i realize that i am not here to be their friend. I am simply here to see them on their way.

 Hi there, I trust you all had a great Holiday filled with family, love, warmth and kindness. I spent the holiday with some wonderful people i call ... my family. I know... it is a stretch for some of you! My family is scattered all over the country now and my children are getting older. Some starting families of their own. The last few weeks i have thought a lot about what the word family means. We all grow up and move away...devastating our parents as we go. As the family dynamic changes so does our understanding of the basic family unit. So many of us have abandon the idea of traditional families and the ties they share. Divorce is far more common than communication. Making a family work is an extremely difficult and painstaking task that we are far too often willing to give up on. I am a divorcee with a family that resembles a quilt. It is nice to warm your self with a quilt of your own making when things are tough. So embrace your family...no matter how tattered and word. You can always add a new patch to a perfect quilt.

I recently had some time to closely reflect on the changes i have made and the steps i have taken to somehow improve my life. Baby steps toward massive and towering goals. Diving into the shark infested waters of interpersonal relations. Relocating to save my sanity and attempt to in some way change my relationship with the world around me. The end of many things... The start of so many more.


 I am forced now to think of the year and the idea of resolve. We have a tradition of New Year Resolutions. Why do we need to wait until New Years Eve to decide to make changes for the better? Should we not be thinking always of self improvement? I wonder if we are setting ourselves up to fail if the only reason to set a goal is New Years Eve thoughts. So many of us resolve to fail it seems. We set unachievable goals for ourselves and feel like total losers when we are not capable of meeting them. Why not resolve to take many small steps, after all they are equal to massive bounds,just in more manageable packages. What would you like to change? Do you want to stop or start an activity? As i resolve to change the tiny things i do not like about my life i can look back and see just how dramatic some of those tiny steps became. What about you?

My road

My road is long and winding with many ups and downs. On occasion there are some straight and smooth areas to rest and enjoy the beauty. In those places there are flowing waters and soft valleys. Trees to tall to imagine and flowers tiny and delicate.There are smiling faces and warm touches. There is laughing till i cry and a sparkle in your eye. I know that there is where i hide...this place i keep safe in my mind. I try to show this place to you. To take you there i wish. I can not show you though.You are cold as driven snow. But to me the warm i see is not the side you wish to be. So one day you'll take my hand and together walk on sacred land.