A question of rationality part 3 ( the answer)

After a long struggle with the fears and feelings of shame and inadequacy. The anger and confusion that almost destroy me I begin to feel something new. I can't describe it but it lingers and slowly turns to sadness.

 This new stage is mourning. But what am I mourning?

 I am mourning my own shame because this shift in self is because I found the answer. The answer it that I stopped trying to retionalize something totally irrational and beyond my control.

 The simple fact is that a rational mind cannot grasp irrational behavior . I am empowered by my own rationality. None of this was ever my problem. I convinced myself it was, quite irrationally so.